The Monogamous Hump

in Featured Stories Staff Blogs The Hump: Nicole da Roza by Nicole da Roza — August 5, 2009 at 6:40 am | 6 comments

I first started this blog about to embark on a new adventure in life. I had been single for about six months from a short, damaging relationship and a year off from my longest, which was a little over 2 years. I went from breaking up with who I thought was the love of my life for someone who suddenly offered me more and boy, did I pay for that. Once that impulse decision played out, I struggled with the damage it had done on my heart – I even tried to re-confess my love to my previous ex and of course, that didn’t get sticky at all.

Rejection is never something a person gets used to, especially when you are the only one who isn’t moving forward with their life. When I first started writing for Insight, I was about to begin my own personal blog. For the most part, I felt like I had healed and was able to finally move on with my life aka date as many guys as I can which I would then document. It sounded like a really good idea at the time – trust me.

I already had some stories of course. Some of them involved a horribly pathetic physical relationship where my needs were not being met and he just wanted to cum in my mouth the entire time. I’m not quite sure I know what was going on in my mind at that time but I certainly know that everyone needs to fuck up every once awhile. Everyone needs to try out a damaging relationship of some sort at least once in their life. Why? So that they can distinguish between what is not actually healthy and what is. If a person can avoid this without having to learn any lessons, then great. Otherwise we all make mistakes and those mistakes guide us along in figuring out who we are as a person. It took me a long time to figure out what actually made me happy and kept me happy and no, I’m not talking about my G Spot vibrator (although it helps from time to time).

So here I was – embarking on the exciting, although it turned out to be rather disappointing, single life. Quicker than ever I was able to identify what I didn’t want and slowly but surely, I felt okay with being on my own. The key to that: confidence in myself. I had a lot going for me, a sex blog for one, and I knew I had something to offer – light bulb.

I was quite overwhelmed with the response of the blog at first. I didn’t realize that talking about my favorite sexual position over cocktails with my friends would be any different written on a blog for the world to read. Hmmm – funny how that works. At first, the negative responses stung. At first, I thought these people had no right to judge me. And now – I just laugh. I am aware of the consequences of me being so open on the topic of sex and relationships and in the end, who the hell cares? Dialogue is better than none. Plus, I like to write and I know a lot of people who like to read. I know even more people who enjoy sex. That sounds like a winning combination to me.

I have to admit something though. In May, I met someone. My single adventure was abruptly interrupted by someone who completely swept me off of my feet. I know – disgusting. Here I was ranting and raving about bad dates, the pulling out method and this dude walks into my life and puts my foot right in my mouth – down my throat in fact. Dirty.

Then, Insight approached me about continuing the blog and I suddenly panicked. How am I supposed to write about sex and relationships when I’m not single anymore?

For one, I still have some stories that I have yet to share. And two, single people are not the only ones reading The Hump. In fact, I know more people who are in relationships who indulge in it. Voila! I have a solution. I’ve decided I’m actually going to blog for my blog. Weird.

I just know that all of a sudden I was questioning my future, questioning my career path, thinking about owning a home (I’m already ditching my roommate and best friend when our lease is up in September) and basically throwing everything I thought I once knew out the window because this other person was now sharing my future with me.

Granted, I am not becoming a submissive, mushy version of myself who will pop out a baby shortly and never graduate from college because I gave up my dreams for a dude. Never will that happen. Instead, my priorities shifted. I must say – it is a reality check when you share advice with all your friends about how they should take things slow in their relationships and then you find yourself making plans to move in together at the three month mark. Talk about a slap in the face!

But don’t worry, I won’t be sitting here, writing about my wonderful bff, or wait – is that best friend or boyfriend? I can’t keep up with the times. I will, however, be addressing what two individuals encounter when in a new relationship, such as – when you discover his best friend is a girl, the first time you have sex, the fact that he already has plans for his future and they include moving and yours previously did not.

All of these things are typical of any relationship – some issues are petty and some are known as deal breakers. Don’t fret though – there will be sex (poor guy). But this will also be my journey and my way of approaching a relationship. If it ends good – great. If it doesn’t, all of you will be right here with me.

See you next week.